Welcome to fvlavenderroom's Employability advice page.

Once you’ve made the decision to come out to friends, family, colleagues, or others, it’s a good idea to consider who specifically you would like to tell. In the workplace, you might like to identify an Ally (someone you know who respects your identity or has an understanding of the LGBTQ+ community) and begin there.

You must then consider if you need to have the conversation with management or HR and will this conversation benefit you within the workplace. Depending on your workplace will the conversation be held be in person or in a call and what would make you more comfortable? However you choose to do this, you must feel prepared and ready.

To feel prepared and ready; do your own research, make yourself comfortable in your own self and the identities you relate to. There will be questions from your colleagues, people are naturally curious and although you shouldn’t be expected to know everything, having these conversations allows others to understand our community. In these conversations you are not obligated to discuss labels or any details of your life you do not wish to share, this is all your private information.

If people are struggling to understand how they can support you, you can suggest that they contact Stonewall, a charity which works to promote understanding and inclusivity for all people within the LGBTQIA+ community.  Remember that you’ve had time to understand your feelings but this is the first time the other person is learning this information. They may not react the way you hope and this is why resources like Stonewall exist to support your journey. Recognize that someone’s initial reaction to your news may change once they have had time to process.

Do not feel guilty for not sharing your information with everyone in the workplace, it may not be the right time or place and it may also not be the correct environment for you to have that conversation. This is your information, you make the decisions, no one else.

Within your organisation there should be an implemented chain that you can report your issues to. This may be through a HR department or through a trustee board for example.

If for whatever reason you cannot report to the first point on that chain, you can and should go above their head until you can reach someone within your organisation that is capable of listening to your issue and coming up with a solution.

In cases where your organisation is a stand alone company, a self employed person or a charitable organisation, you can report your issues up the chain to parent organisations.

• This could be to OSCR if a charity is causing you harm.
• Youth Scotland if your organisation works with young people.
• Depending on which Trade you work in their is a parent organisation there also.
• If the issue cannot be resolved internally or through and parent organisation and you feel it meets the criteria for a hate crime you can report this directly to Police Scotland.

In the following section we have linked templates for your use in these situations in case your workplace does not provide a template or you are unsure on how to lay out your report. We want you to have the best resources to support you going forward with your HR department.

As employees and employers this link will help you understand what Employment rights are and how to comply with them and ensure your staff are working within their rights.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/employment-status-and-employment-rights

For each work environment there is a different union that you can join to keep yourself safe. Workers with unions generally have higher pay, job security, better benefits, and fewer scheduling problems. Union workplaces are safer and have less harassment, discrimination, and favoritism. This is because a union gives workers the power to make workplace decisions.

Unions can and will step in to protect you if there are issues within your workplace in which you need support or advice.

As a result of a health condition or gender identity, colleagues may need some adjustments or specialist equipment to enable them to perform their role. It is the managers’ responsibility to explore all possible adjustments in the workplace, before considering seeking specialist advice.

This is usually arranged through a workplace adjustments process by the manager referring the colleague to Occupational Health. Or in conversation with the colleague, where they can outline what is required to meet their needs in relation to their gender identity in the workplace. The colleague will be assessed and either recommendations for adjustments to the working hours or role will be made, or an onwards referral to an equipment specialist will be arranged. For Trans identities in the workplace reasonable adjustments such as uniform changes, names and pronouns being corrected within the work systems. If required there may need to be an adaption to changing room and toilet facilities on site and the inclusion of sanitary bins in male bathrooms.

Colleagues may choose to refer themselves to the Government Access to Work service, however it is recommended that the reasonable adjustment options are explored within the business before they do so. An employer is unable to refer a colleague to Access to Work.

Stonewall- https://www.stonewall.org.uk/

Retail Trust- https://www.retailtrust.org.uk/

LGBT Foundation- https://lgbt.foundation/?__cf_chl_jschl_tk__=pmd_8117049166f65b75eab65b510532892705933651-1627643937-0-gqNtZGzNAc2jcnBszQg6

LGBT Youth Scotland- https://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/resources/

These templates have been create by our group members and staff team.

Our group have personal experiences with incidents in the workplace and therefore want to ensure you have the smoothest possible reporting experience.

• What is the incident you are reporting? (here give a blanket statement such as – “homophobic discrimination in the workplace”)
• When did this occur? (here give exact dates, times and locations on site of any incidents).
• Were there witnesses? (here list anyone able to back you up in your report. They will more than likely be able to ask staff on at the time due to your answer to your last question).
• Can you give an account as to how this made you feel in your workplace? (here is where you can formally report your feelings about the situation and how it is impacting your ability to work within your role).

This link takes you to a template from an organisation if that would be preferred- https://www.smartsheet.com/grievance-form-templates?fbclid=IwAR1FMZmShNT3-Hl8mxuriMNabhmnWZQuuijnBwyL0mw4uIbfZwjx5LbZIto

Here’s how to make sure your LGBTQ+ employees feel safe coming out at work, and exactly how to support them when they do.

Rejection is usually the main fear of anyone who is coming out. Take the person seriously and reassure them that you will do all you can to support them. Be positive, listen and check whether the person wants you to do anything specific to support them.

Don’t be tempted to give advice unless the person asks you for it. Coming to terms with one’s sexuality or gender identity is a very personal journey. Thank the person for trusting you enough to come out to you, remembering it may have taken them a long time to get this far and is not a decision they are likely to have taken lightly.

Don’t make assumptions. For example, if someone comes out as trans don’t assume how they will choose to dress.

Don’t confuse gender identity with sexual orientation as they are separate things. For example, not all trans women are attracted to men and not all trans men are attracted to women.

Maintain and respect the person’s confidentiality, remembering that unless you have their explicit permission, this is private confidential information and should not be shared any wider. This is not gossip, this is someone’s safety in the workplace.

Create an accepting environment. Putting up a rainbow flag is a positive step but this has to be backed up by positive attitudes in the workplace. For trans people, support needs may include things such as changing names on records and in computer systems.

Past experiences of coming out to people can affect confidence, positively or negatively, and influence future decisions. For some, the workplace can be a safe space. Even in the teeth of rejection from friends or family, a supportive workplace can provide an environment for someone to be themselves.

Fairness in the workplace is a vital part of a successful business or public body. It is supported by the law (Equality Act 2010) and also makes good business sense in running and developing an organisation. Successful organisations are ones that reflect the richness of diversity that exists in society and will include people of different genders and sexual orientation.

Under the Equality Act 2010, it is unlawful to discriminate at work against nine protected characteristics, including:

• Sexual orientation
• Gender reassignment
• Marriage and civil partnership

Discrimination can come in the following forms:

• Direct discrimination is when you are treated differently and worse than someone else for certain reasons.
• Indirect discrimination is when you may be treated in the same way as everyone else, but it has a different and worse effect because of who you are.
• Harassment is when someone behaves in a way which offends you or makes you feel distressed or intimidated. This could be abusive comments or jokes, graffiti or insulting gestures.
• Victimisation is treating you unfairly because you have complained about discrimination or harassment.

This act applies to all aspects of employment, including training, recruitment, promotion, and dismissal. 

Everyone has and uses pronouns, this is not something new. A word that can function by itself as a noun or phrase and that refers either to the participants in the discourse (e.g., I, you) or to someone or something mentioned elsewhere in the discourse (e.g., she, it, this).

A preferred pronoun is someone’s chosen pronoun that fits with their identity best. For example, She/Her, They/Them or He/Him. There are other variations of neo-pronouns also that may be used by someone in your workplace. These are ever evolving and creating new spaces for human beings to feel confident and comfortable in themselves.

Use the pronoun the person uses in their conversation to you. For example, if they use ‘she’ or ‘they’ then mirror this in your language back. If you don’t know which pronouns to use, it is okay to ask the person.

One non-binary person said: ‘If I meet someone for the first time and they ask me my pronouns, it makes me feel more at ease. Like the person respects me and my community’. If someone has newly come out to you, you may get their pronouns wrong occasionally through an honest mistake. This is okay, mistakes are allowed, the best course of action is for you to correct yourself and move on.

“They has been used as a singular pronoun since 1375”

— https://www.stonewall.org.uk/

If you’ve known someone for many years as a different pronoun, it may be difficult to make that change instantly. Trans people understand this and may correct you if you slip, but are unlikely to be offended if the slip is a genuine mistake.

Don’t avoid the person or not talk to them out of fear you will offend them. After coming out it may be the time that person needs to feel most included and supported. Give them their own space, but do not isolate them.

 https://www.adeccogroup.com/future-of-work/latest-insights/why-it-is-so-important-to-use-pronouns-in-the-workplace/?fbclid=IwAR2Gm-Y37MQfjljmkcD8OEG1pLvYbRgLglDf8050Kvmpa88Z_0zzaHfXLkk 

If you are an organisation seeking LGBTQ+ advice we can advise you to look towards either this following Stonewall link which will take you to their resources for an inclusive Workplace. https://www.stonewall.org.uk/resources-creating-lgbtq-inclusive-workplace

Or the Equality network link, this will take you to their training pages https://www.equality-network.org/training/

Both organisations can support your journey to bettering your workplace for your LGBTQ+ team members.

This link may also be a helpful resource for any HR department needing advice. https://www.citation.co.uk/resources/hr-and-employment-law/transgender-and-non-binary-employees-hr-basics-for-employers/

If you are seeking advise on a more personal scale the Lavender Room team and members can offer you some advice:

• Firstly if a staff member has approached you with a concern please take their claim seriously. To have the courage to approach you has more than likely taken a lot from them.
• Reassure that person that you will handle their issue with the best intensions and the utmost respect for them and your organisation.
• Educate yourself on LGBTQ+ issues and why they are feeling the way they are in your work environment.
• Support them the best you can whilst you go through your organisations policies/procedures.
• You may well be the only person in their life that they feel safe asking for support in relation to their identity. The way you act in this moment will be crucial to how they respond to discrimination in your workplace or in any other organisation in the future.

As employees and employers this link will help you understand what Employment rights are and how to comply with them and ensure your staff are working within their rights.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/employment-status-and-employment-rights